


You're the Top

by EggplantSalad



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Canon Queer Relationship, Dirty Talk, M/M, Married Sex, PWP, Patrick Brewer is Gay, Patrick Brewer is Thirsty, Patrick Brewer is a Cockslut, Podfic Welcome, Service Top Patrick Brewer, Sexting, Thirsty Bottom Patrick Brewer, pure filth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:40:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27461341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggplantSalad/pseuds/EggplantSalad
Summary: Shameless filth. More specifically: what happens when two thirsty bottoms don't communicate ahead of time.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 48
Kudos: 277
Collections: Politics? What Politics?





	You're the Top

**Author's Note:**

> We in the U.S. have hard a really rough four years and a particularly stressful week. So, here's to celebrating the election with SCADS OF PORN! Please, please, feel free to add your own work.
> 
> Title comes from Cole Porter's "You're the Top", and I'm not 100% sure whether the play on words was even unintentional because Porter was hella gay. Anyway, A+ lyrics:
> 
> _You're the top! You're a dance in Bali.  
>  You're the top! You're a hot tamale.  
> You're an angel, you’re simply too, too, too divine,  
> You're a Botticelli, You're Keats, You're Shelley,  
> You're Ovaltine.  
> ...  
> But if, Baby, I'm the bottom,  
> You're the top!_

**David:** Alexis has literally the worst couch ever. I wish I were home in our bed

 **Patrick:** I wish you were too

 **David:** Are you in bed now?

 **Patrick:** Yeah, just got out of the shower

 **David:** Now I really wish I were in our bed

 **David:** I love it when you’re all clean 

**Patrick:** Wish you could get me dirty again

 **David:** Oh my god, we cannot

 **David:** What if Alexis gets out of bed and catches me

 **David:** Wait how do you want me to get you dirty

 **Patrick:** Want your hands on me

 **Patrick:** Want your cock in me

 **David:** Yeah? What if I want your cock in me?

 **Patrick:** I guess we’ll figure something out

\-----

Patrick clapped a hand over his knee to stop his leg from jiggling. David had texted him from the Toronto airport three hours ago, so he should have been home an hour ago. It had been a week since David had gone to visit his sister in New York, and all Patrick could think about was finally getting the dicking he deserved.

And, okay, a hug.

Finally, headlights swung across the room and a car door slammed outside. Patrick popped up and shook his arms out, rolling his neck. A minute later, David pushed the door open with his hip and pulled his bags inside, his eyes locked on Patrick’s.

They barely waited for the door to close before they were on each other, kissing like it was breathing, hands roaming and squeezing at each other.

“Patrick, honey, I missed you so much,” David breathed between kisses.

“Missed you too," said Patrick. "Come on, fuck now, talk later." He grabbed David’s hand and dragged him, laughing, up to their bedroom. He’d already laid out the sex blanket, wet wipes, and lube to minimize the time from door to dick. David barked out one more sharp laugh when he saw the supplies, then, like Patrick, turned his focus to getting naked as quickly as possible.

“Faster, David, hurry up!” said Patrick, hopping on one foot and then the other to pull off his socks. 

“Mmm, somebody’s thirsty for it,” said David, tugging his jeans down. 

“Says the guy who just dropped his Comme des Garçons sweater on the floor.” Patrick whipped his t-shirt off and threw it at the hamper.

David sagged against the dresser and _moaned_ with his pants at his ankles. “God, it should not be that hot when you know who designed my sweater.”

Patrick stalked toward David and dropped to his knees. “2013 fall collection,” he said as he helped David step out of his jeans, then flung them at the hamper too. He leaned forward and nosed at David’s cock through his trunks. “Mmm, is this for me?”

David framed Patrick’s face in his hands and brushed his cheeks with his thumbs, dark eyes swimming with devotion and lust. “Always, always for you,” he whispered.

Patrick turned his head slightly and bit down on David’s thumb, then sucked it into his mouth, licking the tip with a wink. 

“Oh god, I love you, you’re such a menace, get on the fucking bed,” said David, pulling him to his feet and pushing him backward. Patrick laughed and grabbed David’s arms, bringing him down with him.

They landed in an inelegant tangle of limbs but it didn’t matter because David was on top of him and kissing him, hands running desperately over him, and _yes_ _,_ this was what Patrick had been craving all week. 

Patrick wrapped his legs around David and groaned, rocking against his husband, so hungry for the moment when he could take David’s cock deep inside him. They needed to take their underwear off so they could fuck, but the frotting felt so good that Patrick couldn’t bear to stop. 

David pulled back a bit and plucked at Patrick’s underwear. “Come on, come on, off, _off._ ” David rolled off him and they both shimmied their underwear down and kicked them to the edge of the bed.

Then David pulled Patrick on top of him. “Finally, baby, I can’t wait to feel that big cock of yours inside me,” he panted, rolling his hips against Patrick’s.

“Yeah, but what if I want that big cock of _yours_ inside _me?_ ” said Patrick, sucking a bruise next to David’s collarbone. 

“Mmm, but I got myself all ready for you,” David said with a little pout he knew Patrick loved to kiss off his face. 

Patrick pulled back. “Got yourself ready?”

“I may have stopped at the motel to take a quick shower and... take care of certain things so I could be ready to meet my husband,” David smirked. “Turns out I know the owner.” He let his long legs fall open, and Patrick could just see the plug peeking out from between David’s cheeks.

“Ohhh my god, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Patrick traced the plug with shaking fingers. 

David spread his thighs further apart and grinned. “Nope. You gonna fuck me now or what?” 

Patrick couldn’t help himself. He collapsed on David, giggling helplessly. 

“What? What is so funny?” squawked David, and really, Patrick needed to reassure his husband that he wasn’t laughing at his definitely very sexy move, but it was just that…

“It’s just that. I. Um. Also got myself all ready for you,” said Patrick, finally looking back up at David and reining back his laughter. 

David’s mouth fell open in outrage. “Oh my god, did you _actually_ —” He slid his hand down Patrick’s ass until he found the plug. “You little _slut,_ ” he laughed, giving the plug a light slap.

Patrick moaned and pushed his ass back against David’s hand. “If I’m a slut, so are you.”

“I’ll own that,” said David breathlessly, grinding his ass against Patrick’s thigh to make the plug move. “So what do we do now? Who fucks who?”

“Oh, you should definitely fuck me,” said Patrick, licking at David’s nipple. “I used the smallest plug and lots of your favorite lube so you could fuck me open with that gorgeous cock.”

“That is… that is really unfair,” David gasped. “Taunting me with that criminally tight ass.”

“I’m not above fighting dirty.” Patrick hooked a leg around David and rolled them back over, bucking his hips. He pulled David close and purred in his ear: “Come on, baby, you want to get me dirty? Want to make me sweat? You know you want to fuck this tight ass. I’ve been wanting you so bad all week, just imagining how good it’ll feel when you finally push that thick cock inside me and give it to me so fucking hard.”

David groaned and gave in to the temptation to grind their dicks together again for a moment, then planted both hands on Patrick’s shoulders and sat up, straddling his husband. “That would feel so, so good, sweetheart,” he said, running his hands up and down Patrick’s chest. “But you should fuck me, because it’ll feel even _better_ for you.”

“Uh huh, so it’s not about how much _you_ want to get reamed, right?” Patrick grinned. How had he never known before David that you could laugh during sex and still be hard as nails?

“Oh no, I very much want to get reamed,” said David, pursing his lips puckishly. “But there’s something you haven’t considered.” He abruptly grabbed Patrick’s shoulders and flipped their bodies so that Patrick was on top again.

Patrick had to take a deep breath to stop himself from coming right there because _goddamn_ was it hot when David manhandled him. “Oh? What’s that?”

David pulled him down into a fiery kiss, arms and legs wrapped around him so they were flush from face to knees. He sucked a kiss on the bolt of Patrick’s jaw, scraping it with just enough teeth to make his hips buck. “Do you know how good it feels to fuck someone while you’re wearing a plug?” He writhed sinuously against Patrick. “Because it feels _so good._ It feels like fucking and being fucked at the same time.” One big hand slid down to Patrick’s plug and pressed against it as he rolled his hips against Patrick’s cock.

Patrick’s brain whited out for a second and he must have made some kind of noise because David hummed and said, “See? Feels so fucking good, baby.” He pulled his knees back until they were almost to Patrick’s shoulders, until Patrick’s balls were pressed against the cool, metal end of David’s plug. “Need you so bad,” he whispered. “Please, Patrick, please.”

“Oh, that is so unfair,” Patrick groaned, reaching down to trace the edges of David’s plug.

David smothered a smirk. “What, me playing on your service top tendencies? Patrick, baby, you gonna service me?” he cooed. “Gonna split me open with that big dick like I need?”

“Fuck, okay, _fuck._ ” Patrick fumbled at David’s plug, guiding it out as David bore down. He tossed the plug aside, then grabbed the lube and slathered it over his cock. “Never seen anyone need to get fucked so bad.”

“Yeah, I need it, need you,” David whimpered as Patrick pushed inside. “Oh my _god_ _,_ feels so good, you feel so _good._ ”

“Oh, _fuuuuuu_ —” Patrick groaned as he began to thrust. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me?” 

David was as tight as a fist around his cock, all heat and wet, clenching muscle. And every time Patrick pushed forward, the plug shifted inside him, pressing against his prostate and lighting up the nerve endings in his rim like a Christmas tree. He pressed his legs together tight and the feeling intensified. He became dimly aware that he was babbling nonsense while pounding into David’s ass, a string of guttural noises and half-formed words falling unchecked from his mouth because he couldn’t help it, he couldn’t fucking _help_ it, it felt so good, it felt like—

“Oh, god,” Patrick choked out, and then he was coming so hard his eyes rolled back in his head. He collapsed on David for a moment, shuddering and panting, then gathered himself and pulled out. David was a wreck too, flushed and gorgeous on the precipice of his own orgasm. 

“Patrick, I need—I _need_ —” he sobbed, tossing his head back and forth. 

Patrick kissed his way down David’s body. “Shhh, I’ve got you,” he said, then sucked David’s cock down. David moaned, tangling his fingers in Patrick’s short curls as Patrick set a steady rhythm, twisting one hand around the base just the way David liked it. 

“More, Patrick, _more,_ ” he moaned, spreading his legs shamelessly wider as Patrick worked his cock. Patrick hummed and slid two fingers into David’s loose, leaking ass, rubbing his prostate until David howled and jerked and emptied himself down Patrick’s throat.

Patrick crawled back up until he could kiss David’s trembling mouth. David slung his arms drunkenly across Patrick’s back and they lay there for a moment, stunned and shivering as shipwreck survivors. 

“So next time… I guess we should plan ahead a little,” David finally managed, a few minutes later. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Patrick said, burrowing deeper under David’s arm. “I think it worked out pretty well.”


End file.
